You will know what is safest for you and your children. If you feel that you are not ready to leave your relationship, trust your instincts. We are still there to support you.

Here are some things that could make that choice a safer one for you and your children:

• Make a list of any emergency numbers you may need - Police; Aviva; doctor; lawyer; schools; friends and whanau/family. Keep these with you. In an emergency always call 111.
• If possible, get a cell phone and keep this with you. WINZ may be able to help you get a phone. Even a pre-pay cell phone with no money on it can be used to call Emergency 111.
• If it's safe, apply for a Protection Order. See your lawyer or talk to us about how to do that
• Develop a plan for yourself and the children about what to do if violence happens at home, or when you are out. Role play and practice the plan so you remember what to do.
• Let your friends and neighbours know that you have fears for your safety. Ask them to watch out and to call the Police if they hear anything unusual or concerning. You could set up a code that will tell the neighbours you are in trouble e.g. ringing, hanging up, and then ringing again.
• Tell the person abusing you, your friends and whanau/family that you are not going to put up with violence.
• Get your own house and car keys.
• Open your own bank account and try to save some money.
• If you have no money, talk to WINZ or to Aviva about how you might get a benefit
• Photocopy personal documents and keep them with you.

Our staff can support you with everything that is listed here and also with contacting other agencies or services.

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You will know what is safest for you and your children. If you feel that you are ready to leave your relationship, here are some things that other women have told us have helped to them keep safe.

• If it's safe, get together a bag that you can leave in advance with a friend or family member, including:
  • copy of Protection or Parenting Orders,
  • medicine for you and your children;
  • copies of birth certificates for you and your children;
  • passports for you and your children;
  • clothes;
  • toiletries;
  • children's favourite toys;
  • spare cash, ATM card and money for taxi/bus if needed;
  • driver’s license;
  • copies of bank details;
  • any other important documents e.g. insurance, residency;
  • Important phone numbers;
  • your loved and treasured items like photos or jewellery.
• Make a list of any emergency numbers you may need - Police; Aviva; doctor; lawyer; schools; friends and whanau/family. Keep these with you. In an emergency always call 111.
• If possible, get a cell phone and keep this with you. WINZ may be able to help you get a phone. Even a pre-pay cell phone with no money on it can be used to call Emergency 111.
• If you feel comfortable doing so, let your friends and neighbours know that you have fears for your safety. Ask them to watch out and to call the Police if they hear anything unusual or concerning. You could set up a code that will tell the neighbours you are in trouble e.g. ringing, hanging up, and then ringing again.
• You can contact Aviva through the Police.
• If you do not want the person abusing you to know you have rung us, pick up the phone and push any number afterwards and then they will not be able to use redial.
• Get your own house and car keys.
• Organise somewhere to go straight away (e.g. a friend’s house, or a Safe House). Aviva staff can support you to identify and access a safe place for you.
• Organise a place to stay for a while (e.g. a Safe House, a friend's place, another house/flat). If you need to move to another city or country, we can help you organise this.
• Our staff can support you with everything that is listed here and also with contacting other agencies or services.

The most important thing is for you and your children to get out safely. If the time is right to leave, just leave. It doesn't matter if you haven't made a plan, or got your things with you. We will support you in whatever way we can.

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Our staff can support you with everything that is listed here and also with contacting other agencies or services. You don’t have to enter a Safe House in order to access our services – in fact, most women don’t.

If you have left your relationship, here are some things that other people have told us have helped to them keep safe:

• Talk to your lawyer or to one of our Family Support Workers about getting a Protection Order, Tenancy or Occupation Order (so that you can stay in your house) and sorting out custody and access arrangements.
• Make a list of any emergency numbers you may need - Police; Aviva; doctor; lawyer; schools; friends and whanau/family. Keep these with you. In an emergency always call 111
• If possible, get a cell phone and keep this with you. WINZ may be able to help you get a phone. Even a pre-pay cell phone with no money on it can be used to call Emergency 111.
• If you haven't got a home phone, we can help you get a free one that can be used only for 111 calls.
• Make the area around your home safer: change the locks, get outside lights, repair damaged windows, trim underneath bushes and trees so you can see if anyone is hiding in them, etc. Talk to our safe@home Co-ordinator to see if you are eligible for this service
• If you feel comfortable doing so, tell all your neighbours and friends that you have a Protection Order and/or that the person who has abused you is not allowed to come to your house. Ask them to ring the Police if they see anything suspicious. You could set up a code that will tell the neighbours you are in trouble e.g. ringing, hanging up, ringing again.
• Use your own bank account.
• Have your address and phone number removed from public access - e.g. get a confidential number (Telecom won't give it out); go on the unpublished Electoral Roll; get your details removed from any council register; contact VTNZ to ensure your licence plate is unsearchable; and remind WINZ; your employer; landlord; schools; doctor etc to keep your details strictly confidential.
• Hide your phone number from someone's caller display.
• Use a third party when dealing with the person who has abused you (e.g. when forwarding on mail; picking up or dropping off the children; or returning their property). Always take someone with you if you cannot avoid seeing the person who perpetrated the abuse.
• Develop a plan for yourself and the children about what to do in any situation -home, school, shops etc - if you feel threatened. Role play and practice the plan so you remember it.
• Help your children understand what is going on. They might not need to know the details, but they do need to feel reassured.
• Ask for support from friends and whānau/family.

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